Apr 25, 2008

Have a history teacher explain this----- if he/She can.

Have a history teacher explain this!

Have a history teacher explain this----- if he/She can.

 

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

 

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

 

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

 

Now it gets really weird.

 

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

 

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

 

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

 

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

 

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

 

Now hang on to your seat.

 

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

 

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

 

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

 

And here's the kicker...

 

A week before Lincoln was shot; he was in Monroe, Maryland

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe

 

Twelve books that changed the world

Twelve books that changed the world

1.The Origin of Species

When Charles Darwin's book went on sale to the trade on November 22, 1859 the stock of 1,250 copies was oversubscribed.

His theory: Evolution was by natural selection, not a divine process.

The most enthusiastic response came from radical atheists, who hailed Darwin as "the greatest revolutionist in natural history of this century" but clerics were pained at his theory which entirely ruled out divine intervention and destroyed the idea that all creatures were immutably made during the seven-day Creation

 

2.The FA Rule Book

In 1863, the Football Association's First Rule Book set out a list which regulated the game in and around London, though for quite some time the provinces clubs continued to follow their local rules.

The FA Rule Book forms the basis for the modern rules of the game.

1st game played under the rules: January 9, 1863 at Battersea Park in south-west London.

 

3.Shakespeare's 1st Folio

The first collected edition of William Shakespeare's plays was published in 1623.

Collection: 36 plays, 18 of which were published for the first time, thus saving such works as The Tempest and Macbeth from probable extinction.

Collected by: Actor editors John Heminge and Henry Condell.

These plays were not attributed to Shakespeare until the date of publication, seven years after his death.

 

4.Principia Mathematica

Isaac Newton in his Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, published on July 5, 1687 describes the universal gravitation and, via his laws of motion, laid the groundwork for classical mechanics.

Generally regarded as one of the most important works in the history of science, it also contains the Hypotheses non fingo ("I do not assert that any hypotheses are true").

 

5.The Wealth of Nations

The Scottish economist Adam Smith's groundbreaking book, published in 1776, is the first complete system of political economy by the articulator of laissez-faire capitalism. It set the foundation for modern economics.

He supports the theory that the less government interferes with business, the more prosperous the nation will be.

 

6.Wilberforce's speech

On May 12, 1789, the Tory MP William Wilberforce made his first speech against the slave trade.

It was a speech that changed history.

Wilberforce said: "...having heard all of this you may choose to look the other way but you can never again say that you did not know."

Until then it was possible for people in Britain to say that they did not know the truth about slavery..

 

7.The King James Bible

The 1611 bible was controversial because it was a translation into the English spoken by the common people.

It had a profound influence on ensuing translations and on English literature as a whole.

It is considered one of the masterpieces of early modern English literature, Works by John Bunyan, John Milton, Herman Melville, John Dryden and William Wordsworth were inspired by it.

 

8. Arkwright's Patent

The patent (no 931) was granted to Richard Arkwright for his spinning machine on July 3, 1769. The machine used the drawing roller method invented by Lewis Paul in 1738.

The invention of this machine revolutionised the production of yarn and led to rapid mechanisation throughout Britain

 

9.Rights of a Woman

At the heart of Mary Wollstonecraft's Vindication of the Rights of Women, are the twin virtues of freedom of thought and devotion to family.

Called the "mother for feminism" she strove to trade "soft" descriptions of women that denoted weakness, such as " susceptibility of heart" and "delicacy of sentiment" for strength

 

10.Faraday's research

Michael Faraday's 1855 Experimental Research in Electricity made him the leading experimental scientist of his time. He was the first to invent the dynamo, which made the generation of electricity possible, thereby paving the way for modern technology.

He introduced several words that we still use today to discuss electricity: ion, electrode, cathode, and anode.

 

11.Married Love

In her book Married Life, Marie Stopes argued that marriage should be an equal relationship between husband and wife. The first book to suggest that women should enjoy sex as much as men.

Thought fiercely opposed by doctors, the press and the Church, the book met with immediate success, selling 2,000 copies within a fortnight.

Married Love was also published in America but the courts declared the book was obscene and it was promptly banned

 

12.Magna Carta

Rebellious British noblemen forced King John to sign a document which contained 63 clauses defining his feudal rights. From that moment, the king was no longer permitted to change anything without the barons' permission.

 

The meaning of certain clauses is still a cause for dispute

 

Get ur relationships organised...!

Get ur relationships organised...!

The battle for your time is constant -- your job demands your attention, as do your spouse and children. And you have to juggle all three.

Here are a few small changes you can adopt to make your relationships more meaningful and to make more time in your life:

 

1. Insist on family time

"When both partners work, and children are kept in a creche, family time gets limited to about an hour or so a day," says Raghini Rathod, 28, an IT manager in Bangalore.

"We have decided not to crib about the fact that I spend less time at home. We have also agreed not to switch on the television till the kids go to sleep; otherwise, we end up spending most of our free time before it," adds the young mother of Raghva, 3, and Rohini, 5. "When the television is switched off, we tend to talk to one another and spend constructive time together."

 

2. Get your relationships 'organised'

Have a planner or subscribe to a website that sends reminders for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Record all the dates there.

When it comes to wishing someone on their birthday, be innovative. Innstead of an email, send a greeting card by slow mail. Buy blank greeting cards in bulk at the beginning of the year; this way you can write what you want in the card before sending it. It's also quite easy these days to send flowers, chocolates or gifts to your loved ones.

Says Mihir Mahajani, a graphic designer based in Pune, "Your friends and family are your investments, you never know when you will need them."

Networking sites are a boon for keeping in touch with people. Even the occasional hi, hello or good wishes helps maintain the bond.

 

3. Parents and in-laws

We are so involved in our own lives that we tend to sideline our parents and in-laws. Make sure you visit them at least once a fortnight if you live in the same city. If not, call them up regularly and tell them what's happening in your life.

Help them bond with your children by visiting them often or having them over at your place. You may not find them the best people to have around, but they have made you and your husband what you are today.

Don't forget their birthdays and anniversaries; make sure you wish them during festivals.

 

4. Communicate

Talk about your worst feelings -- even if they are caused by your spouse, partner, in-laws, friends or relatives. Have an open relationship. "If you can't talk about them, write a diary, but make sure you get the feelings out of your system," says family counsellor and homeopath, Dr Reena Dhaware.

"No relationship blossoms without effective communication. Bottled emotions create stress, which not only causes health problems but also emotional fatigue. Use mobile phones, the Internet and other modes of communication to enhance your communication."

 

5. Highs and lows

"Keep your emotions under control, but don't fake them," advises Dr Dhaware. "In case you are emotionally upset, tell your family you need some time out and get your emotions under control."

Every relationship has its high and lows, so be prepared. Try to understand the sentiments of people you care about.

 

6. Surprise element

Small gestures of surprise, a gift, a message or a phone call can do wonders for a relationship.

Madhavi Deb, 28, a homemaker based in Hyderabad, recalls, "I had this tiff with my mom-in-law on the eve of her birthday. To make it up, I cooked her favourite pulav the next day morning and bought her a small gift. She really appreciated the gesture. Though the pulav was 'not so great', she was touched by my efforts to enter the kitchen, which I am most averse to."

 

7. Say 'NO'

Many of us have a common complaint. "We take ourselves for granted," says Meena Kumari, 35, homemaker. "I have decided to drop the goody image. I no longer want to say yes to every member of the family and then struggle to live up to their expectations. I've decided I am going to say 'no' whenever I cannot easily manage a task. I'm even going to say 'no' if I don't want to do something. Hopefully, this will make life a little less stressful."

 

8. 'Me' time

Consider it sacrosanct -- it does wonders to your personality. Be it watching the daily news, a soap on television, meditating or reading, dedicate at least half an hour to 'your' activity.

Likewise, don't interfere in others' personal time; even children want that space. Give space to others if you want space for yourself!

 

9. Agree to disagree

"For me, this is the most important mantra -- be it in-laws, parents or friends," says Anuradha Chitnis, a technical writer with an IT company in Pune.

"Over the years, I have realised that if you respect their opinion, they will respect yours. You don't have to agree. This makes life so much easier; the best way to reach a golden median is to agree to disagree."

 

11. Remember, you're the 'parent'

Twenty-nine-year-old Madhu Narang remembers that, in an effort to be friendly with the kids, there came a stage when the kids thought she was one of them.

"Being friends to the kids is all right, but parents also have to be parents. You cannot compromise on that. The responsibility of effective discipline and behaviour lies essentially with you." The child will have many friends but only one set of parents. Having an open but firm relationship with kids, right from an early age, is important.

Incorporating even some of these tips in your life should make much more pleasant, and much less stressful

 

How to prepare for meetings

How to prepare for meetings

If there is one activity that unites professionals from different occupations all over the world, it is meetings. Executives, managers, or software developers -- they all spend a large part of their working hours closeted in conference rooms discussing issues, significant and insignificant.

But the truth about meetings is they are largely a waste of time if not organised well or not planned in advance. Here are some tips to help you get the best out of these congregations.

Time and venue

The initiator of the meeting must take up the task of sending out meeting requests to all parties who are required to attend, specifying the date, time and venue. If the meeting is a teleconference or a videoconference with participants from multiple locations, it is essential that the meeting request contain the date and time of the various time zones.

This is a common mistake, as a colleague in Tokyo found out when she forgot to specify the time zone in her e-mail, which meant that disparate groups of people were waiting for her to teleconference them at different times of the day!

The initiator must ensure a discussion room or conference room large enough to hold the requisite number of attendees is booked for the scheduled time.

Material

It is also up to the initiator to arrange for any materials such as a projector, computer, slides, handouts, or even just a whiteboard and markers. A manager at a telecommunications firm narrates how a meeting he was invited to was delayed by 45 minutes because the computer and projectors were not set up, leading to senior managers walking out and requesting a reschedule.

If you are invited to a meeting for which handouts are distributed, make sure you read those notes before attending. It will keep you in tune with the discussions once you are part of the meeting, and will demonstrate your preparedness with ideas and thoughts on the topic at hand.

Agenda

Once the time and venue of the meeting is fixed, it is vital that the initiator of the meeting decide the points on the agenda. Each of these points must be covered in detail and decisions taken on them before the meeting wraps up.

Preferably, these points can even be enumerated in brief on the whiteboard in the room, allowing everyone to be aware of the agenda and helping the initiator keep an eye on it at all times.

Minutes of the meeting

In the duration of the meeting, several points and ideas will be thrown up which, if not documented, will evaporate into thin air well before the end. It will be impossible for anyone to retain all the discussed points in memory. Therefore, it is best for the initiator or the meeting-in-charge to appoint one person to jot down notes during the meeting. It is better still if two or three people take notes just in case one misses out something important.

At the culmination of the meeting, it is the duty of the person assigned to note down the minutes to create a document and circulate it amongst all attendees. Such a document typically contains the date and time of the meeting, number and names of attendees, the agenda and, against each of the points on the agenda, the action items.

The focus on agenda

Often, despite maintaining an agenda and adhering strictly to time and schedule on a few points, the discussion deteriorates into heated debates. At this point, it is the prerogative of the meeting-in-charge or the initiator to ensure an objective discussion. Also, if a member starts rambling for hours without any end in sight, he must be brought back on track. It should be made clear that although brainstorming is acceptable, digression into irrelevant territory is entirely unwelcome.

Conclusion

When all points on the agenda have been discussed to the satisfaction of all parties, the person writing the minutes or even the initiator can wrap up by briefly reading out the salient points of all that has been discussed, including action to be taken once people return to their work. The minutes of the meeting is a good starting point to follow up with team members in the following days if necessary action has been taken, as discussed.

 

How to become a successful businessman

How to become a successful businessman

Last week, a good friend -- Ajay Sanghani, the CEO of ITvidya.com -- invited me to an idea camp for entrepreneurs at IILM, a business school in Gurgaon. Venture capitalists Alok Mittal and Sanjay Bhargava chaired the camp, which was organised by Sanghani's company.

At the camp, I asked several entrepreneurs to share their initial struggles and success stories. They spoke with passion, and I learnt a few lessons:

Believe in yourself

Being an entrepreneur is a lot more risky than the conventional job routine. There is no regular salary; you have to find customers on your own. Marketing your product/service and financing the project are also of concern. I noticed that most entrepreneurs use a combination of due diligence and gut instincts while evaluating their product/service. They are good at spotting a need in the market and then backing themselves up to believe that their idea can fill that void.

Lesson one -- Believe in your idea. Never underestimate what you can do. You may surprise yourself.

Hire the right people

Most entrepreneurs highlighted this as the toughest aspect of building a business. Sanjay Bhargava, who co-founded Paypal, recommended entrepreneurs to bring in people who are really good at what they do and also to focus on ensuring the team members get along with each other.

Some entrepreneurs confessed they made the initial mistake of hiring friends and people they liked, but soon realised that friends were not always the best employees.

Lesson two -- Build your team with people possessing complementary skills, not 'yes men' who are always showering praise. You need employees, partners and mentors you trust, who will give you honest feedback and take your company to the next level.

Be money wise

While some entrepreneurs went in for conventional sources of funding from a venture capitalist or banks, etc, quite a few started out with their savings or by borrowing money from friends and family. Most entrepreneurs said they focused on increasing efficiency and optimising costs and overheads. One entrepreneur shared that he consciously stayed away from non-essentials like an extravagant office, equipments, etc. The focus was on superior execution and high quality service.

Lesson three -- It's tempting to dream of a corner office, a pool table and expensive chairs, but give it some time. Start small and start efficient. Being better is more important than being bigger.

Concentrate on the message

"As a small business, most of our marketing is word-of-mouth. Our clients appreciate the kind of work we do and our reputation for delivering results," said Vidhanshu Bansal, founder of an information-technology company called Pixel Webtech.

Most entrepreneurs said that in the early days, their tendency was to focus on sales activities and as they grew, they started looking at various marketing initiatives, as that is the cement that gels customers, vendors and employees together. Their strategy kept changing, depending on what worked -- direct mailers, e-mail marketing, presentations at seminars, etc.

Lesson four -- Marketing a start-up business is a 24/7 activity and you need to pay attention to the message you're sending out to existing and prospective clients. Your message has to be tailored to meet the customer's expectations.

Keep the team motivated

Do not indulge in fault-finding or blame games. That was a clear message from most entrepreneurs. Pigeonholing a particular member of the team may spread negative vibes within the team and cost you time and quality. Celebrating every small success and appreciating team members will build a sense of camaraderie.

Lesson five -- Be a coach, rather than the star player. Appreciate and acknowledge the positive behaviours of team members so that the behaviours turn into consistent practices.

Make mistakes

"If you ain't a little bit scared, you ain't driving fast enough," said Deepak Wadhwa, another entrepreneur. Most entrepreneurs agreed. Give your people the license to fail. It's ok to make a mistake as long as they are succeeding 9 out of 10 times, and making sure that they don't repeat those mistakes in the future.

Lesson six -- The worst mistake is the one that gets repeated. Create a culture of learning and experimentation right at the start of the business. This will become a powerful value with the growth of the business.

Be passionate

Most entrepreneurs accepted that the rewards of being an entrepreneur can be terrific but they were also of the opinion that there is no 'secret sauce.' There are a lot of magazines, self-help books and biographies of successful entrepreneurs that one can read, but at the end of the day, it's about execution. What you really need is to be passionate about your work.

Lesson seven -- If you are doing something and the day flies by, if you are surrounded with people you like to work with, then you have most of the ingredients for entrepreneurial success.

7 Destructive Habits of Unsuccessful People

7 Destructive Habits of Unsuccessful People

By Michael Lee

 

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

Number 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup. They see problems in every opportunity.

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions.

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

 

Number 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinst or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequenses. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

 

Number 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes.

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

 

Number 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

 

Number 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

 

Number 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

 

Number 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed.

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off.

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.


Apr 23, 2008

How To Stay Highly Motivated

How To Stay Highly Motivated

The degrees of success and happiness we achieve in life result overwhelmingly from the actions we take. But the actions which matter most are not those we do every now and then. It is our consistent actions (our habits) which more than anything else determine the direction and success of our lives. Thus, the first key to success is to adopt good habits.

However, the problem with the above bill of advice is that in the vast majority of cases our habits are not the result of conscious thought and logical decision making. Instead, our habits tend to be "reactions" to our experiences. If those experiences are disproportionately negative, they will tend to produce negative reactions and when this happens consistently, the mental foundation for the bad habit would have been laid.

Always remember that while all experiences count, the ones which count the most in shaping our habits are those which are most emotional and which occur most frequently, especially when we are young. But despite their obvious power and near control over our lives, we do not have to be slaves to our past experiences. Indeed, if those experiences have produced low self-esteem, self-defeating habits and other negative behaviors, we must not be slaves to them.

The most important tool to employ in order to take control of you habits (and as a result become the master of your destiny) is to be highly motivated. You must be driven. Your desire for success must be greater than your fear of failure. You must step outside your current comfort zone and take a chance. If you are not currently a highly motivated person, here are some steps you can take to become a more focused and motivated individual.

 

Establish Clear, Specific Goals!

You life goals are the things which give purpose to your life. They are the reason you live. Your desire to achieve these goals will be your greatest motivator. Thus, you must organize you life around the achievement of those goals. Write them down and read (internalize) them at least twice a day.

 

Take An Action A Day!

You must establish an action plan which requires that you do at least one thing each day which brings you closer to your goals. Never forget that it is action which turns goals and dreams into realities. Do something each day. Habit is nothing but repeated behavior. Just do it, do it, do it. And one day you will wake up and find yourself taking productive actions without even thinking about it. That is when you would have formed a habit.

 

Instill Emotion!

Rational thought and logic can enable us to figure out what to do and how to do it, but it is only emotion that will make us do it. Human behavior is emotionally driven. The two chief emotions are desire and fear. Strong desire will make you take action. But fear can also prompt action. You act because you are afraid of the consequences if you fail to act. I recommend the use of self-hypnosis to instill strong, positive emotional desire. And self-hypnosis can be as simple as retreating to a quiet place twice a day and emotionally repeating positive affirmations.

 

Take Charge!

Repeat this mantra, "If it is to be, it is up to me." There may be a host of reasons for current bad habits ranging from having been raised in a dysfunctional home to falling in with the wrong crowd, to just not having correct information. Regardless, if things are going to change for the better, it is up to you. No one else is responsible for bettering your life. If you find someone or group which helps, that's fine. But the chief responsibility is yours. Stop playing the "blame game" and take charge of your life.

 

Lessons for Life

Life Lessons

Dr Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam took residence at Rashtrapati Bhavan, he has been nothing short of inspirational. The man who is synonymous with India's space programme soon became synonymous with India's sense of pride, particularly for its youth.

He is one man you cannot conveniently categorise. After all, how do you slot someone whose favourite pastime includes reading the Bhagvad Gita even though he is a devout Muslim? A remarkable self-made scientist who pens poetry in Tamil and plays the veena in his leisure time? A leader who retained his fashionably long locks?

This is what is to be learnt from the person I think has been one of India's most interesting leaders in recent times:

 

1. Humility and modesty

These attributes come naturally to those concerned with causes far greater than personal gain.

India's first attempt at launching the Satellite Launch Vehicle met with failure. At that point, Dr Kalam took responsibility for his colleagues and juniors and became answerable for what went wrong. When the second attempt succeeded and took India into the space age, he stepped aside and let his colleagues take credit for this grand achievement.

Attempting something this selfless requires dedication to the achievement of a larger goal; it is the final goal that matters, not who takes the credit for the achievement.

Dr Kalam was embarrassed by public acclaim to the extent that that he did not like being called Bharat Ratna Dr Kalam. He even gently reminded the directors at the Defence Research and Development Organisation to not refer to him as Bharat Ratna; he did this by having a circular sent across through the DRDO headquarters that civilian awards cannot be used as titles! This, in today's world, where we mostly see people chasing titles and designations simply to flaunt them to their peers.

 

2. Respect

Dr Kalam has the utmost respect for everyone he interacts with. He even treats and talks to kids as his equals, and respects their opinions. I know of instances where he refers to professors as 'Professor X' and means it with respect. He attaches great importance to their knowledge and experience; even though he might have achieved a lot than they have, he believes there is a lot to learn from each of them.

Not being judgemental, respecting elders, teachers, professors and looking beyond caste, race, age and colour have taken on a whole new meaning in today's society. Over time, I have realised that the people who respect others the most are the ones who are the most respected.

 

3. Spirituality

It might surprise a few people that a space scientist can be so spiritual. Dr Kalam recites the Gita and the Quran better than some of the more renowned spiritual 'gurus' of today. He believes in the strength of virtues and values, and the role they play in shaping the youth and society in these times.

A complete vegetarian, a teetotaller and a bachelor, Dr Kalam's spirituality seems to be driven by practicality in a world where these attributes might be frowned upon.

It's clear that he respects other religions, and has done his best to understand them -- something that a lot of us need to imbibe ourselves.

 

4. Being yourself

The usual full-sleeved blue shirt, the long grey hair, and various 'Kalam-isms' like 'Fantastic!', 'Funny guys, why did they do that?' and 'What's happening?' have made it to many parts of the Rashtrapati Bhavan. In this case, the person changed the place, rather than the place changing the person.

Situations never changed the person Dr Kalam was. He is disarmingly approachable to students, civilians and politicians.

It is this genuineness that makes us all individuals in the first place. I try keeping that in mind when I get flustered by grand or formal situations. I no longer constantly bother about how I speak or dress, thanks to a lesson from Dr Kalam.

 

5. Respect for children

Dr Kalam believes that children and the youth of today are magical with their ideas and thoughts. This is the reason he spent so much time meeting school kids and addressing the country's youth. He understands the language of youth and their ambitions, without having the air of superiority that age and experience brings with it so often.

Dr Kalam even extended his scientific expertise to help disabled children by replacing their metal supporters, which weigh three kilos, with carbon-based braces weighing 300 grams.

These are the lessons, more than anything else, that makes him seem larger than life. The fact that he touched so many lives, and did not stop at just addressing them... He gave so many disabled kids a reason to smile.


10 Mistakes White People Make When Talking About Race

1. Thinking It's Not OK to Talk About It

Race is such a touchy topic because it is often associated with all of the negative history and oppression of minorities in this country. Blacks, Latinos, Asians, and Native Americans share a history of physical and social abuse at the hand of the white majority. Yes, that leads to anger and distrust, feelings so strong that they've survived for centuries. But the only way to bridge the gap and move forward as a more unified society is to talk about it: all of it.

We are supposed to be engaged in a cultural conversation about race - a dialogue largely taking place on television and at the movies. We've traded unquestioned racism for a twisted multicultural correctness. Everything is celebrated, nothing can be discussed. We seem to want to live in an imaginary world without racism, where we celebrate differences but never base our beliefs on them."

- Sallie Tisdale, author of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Harvest Moon and Lot's Wife, Stepping Westward and Talk Dirty to Me

 

2. Using Culture-Specific Slang to Relate to Other Races

K-Fed, you ain't. And you just shouldn't try to be--ever.

Black people have a wide array of colorful terms that come in and go out of style and can be used in a myriad of different ways. White people, it will be extremely tempting to try and incorporate these terms into your everyday language. Don't. When you guys start using our words, that's when we know it's time to stop using them.

- Nick Adams, author Making Friends With Black People

 

3. Assuming Biracial People Identify More with One Side Than the Other

The majority race in America today isn't white, black, or even Latino. It's biracial. And this will only increase with each successive generation. We're a society that loves to check off boxes, but the greater challenge is to stop seeing people as shades and start knowing them for who they are.

As the child of a black man and white woman, born in the melting pot of Hawaii, with a sister who is half-Indonesian, but who is usually mistaken for Mexican, and a brother-in-law and niece of Chinese descent, with some relatives who resemble Margaret Thatcher and others who could pass for Bernie Mac, I never had the option of restricting my loyalties on the basis of race or measuring my worth on the basis of tribe.

- Barack Obama, Kenyan/White American, Illinois Senator, presidential candidate

 

4. Thinking Race Is Only an Issue for Minorities

The tendency is to think of "race" as something that only black/brown/Asian/Hispanic people have - whereas "white" is the default setting ( i.e., we say "American" to mean white, but "Black American," "Asian-American," etc. to identify other Americans of different colors). Everyone has a race. This is a nation of immigrants, from England, Ireland, France, Germany, Poland, Africa, Asia, and beyond.

To be white is to have a race and a racial perspective as well, and that needs much greater acknowledgment in our culture. Discussions of race will always be limited until white Americans can have an honest, open discussion about what it means to be white in America - the good and the bad.

- Molly Faulkner-Bond, biracial Harvard grad who explored issues of interracial friendship in the current Sirens issue

 

5. Using Outdated Terms When Describing Different Races

Oriental, Colored, and Indian went out of style a long time ago; in fact, they're considered offensive. So, too, is lumping every Spanish-speaking person into a general category like "Mexican" or any Arab-looking person as "Persian" (it's a specific country, people). Feeling the need to identify is a nervous reaction we have when faced with issues of race. Black, white, Asian and Latino/a are generally accepted, but when in doubt, how about you just call someone by their actual name. Who says we have to classify ourselves all the time anyway?

I had to deal with my prejudices. I had to learn to ignore the taunting labels of other blacks who had everything figured out, including how I should act according to the color of my skin. I am human first, and that's where my efforts have gone.

-- Donna Leonard Conger, author of Don't Call Me African-American

 

6. Believing Stereotypes

Yes, black Americans dominate most sports, more Asians are accepted into MIT than any other race, and Latinos have been known to tear up a dance floor. Though some race-specific stereotypes seem like positive assumptions, imagine yourself on the other end, with high expectations placed on your shoulders simply because of a scrutinized minority. White people don't have the pressure to be the best in math or sports; they just have to be good enough. Everyone else should get the same slack.

One could say (I don't) that stereotypes are benevolent: All Asians are smart and hard-working. All Asian men are geeky engineers with high-flood-water pants and calculators on their belts. All Asian women are either passive, submissive chrysanthemums or seductive, manipulative hotties. I suppose it's true that these aren't hugely destructive stereotypes, but they are stereotypes nonetheless, and they can have hurtful consequences. I think to get rid of these stereotypes, Asian Americans are going to have to be more vocal and political. The same goes for other races.

-- Don Lee, author of Yellow: Stories

 

7. Thinking Affirmative Action Has Anything to Do With Someone's Success

One of the most controversial issues of the past 20 years is affirmative action, a term widely over-used and often misunderstood. It was supposed to explain educational and hiring policies put in place to encourage more diversity on college campuses and in the public sector. The naysayers made it sound like minorities were given hand-outs, which has resulted in an assumption, even years after most of those progressive policies have been killed, that a successful minority must have been given an easy ride. How about you ask Oprah if she was given an easy ride when networks constantly told her she looked and sounded too "ethnic" early in her career? Do you think the late CBS anchor Ed Bradley was given a break when he accidentally became the first African-American White House correspondent, a result of his network sending him to cover what they thought would be a Jimmy Carter loss? And of these two "View" hosts, who do you think earned their coveted role more: Lisa Ling, a trained journalist, or Elizabeth Hasselbeck, a "Survivor" contestant?

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

-- Chris Rock

 

8. Assuming One Man's Success = An Entire Race's Progress

It's commonplace to celebrate the breakthrough successes of minorities, the firsts, the bests. These people deserve our accolades, certainly, but the success of a few doesn't mean an oppressed minority is triumphant. We still have a long way to go. The day we stop clapping for the minority in a "good for you, kid" condescending manner is the day we've made real progress.

I never thought I was going to be a success. I was the longest-produced comedy at Warner Bros. and I don't feel special. When you have to work harder just to break even, it's hard to feel special. I got cancelled so they could put Cavemen on the air. It doesn't make sense.

 

-- George Lopez, whose The George Lopez Show was the longest-running, most profitable all-Latino show in the history of network television

 

9. Thinking Cultural Exclusion Is Racism

White people are in a difficult situation in this struggle to talk about and understand race. On the one hand, they are reprimanded for being the majority that alienates all other races. But are minority races guilty of the same exclusion by keeping to themselves? Or is such elective segregation the only way to preserve community and a strong racial identity?

I don't even like the term 'self-segregate.' Kids group together on common lines of interest and experience. If Hispanic kids want to sit together and speak in their mother tongue, that shouldn't bother anyone, but they should have the same opportunity to meet other kids. My decision to sit with people who I share things in common with is not the same as legalized imposition of segregation.

-- Beverly Daniel Tatum, Ph. D, author of Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? and Can We Talk About Race?: And Other Conversations in an Era of School Resegregation

 

10. Declaring You Are "Colorblind"

There is no such thing as colorblind (in fact, it's a long-running Stephen Colbert gag for just that reason). It is not a racist stance to see color, but a fact of life. Ignoring it promotes ignorance.

You cannot live in this country and not see color. We all need to step out of the naiveté box and stop pretending it really doesn't exist. We need to understand that we live in a world that gives certain people privileges because of the color of their skin.

 

-- Oprah Winfrey

Apr 21, 2008

Students on Moral Parenting & Academic Discipline

Students on Moral Parenting & Academic Discipline

Picture this. Pass outs from 12th standard are standing in a queue at a famous engineering college of Chennai for application forms. The Vice Chancellor himself is distributing the forms. After a few admission seekers receive their forms, it is the turn of a girl clad in smart denims. To her surprise, the Vice Chancellor refuses to give her one. The reason? The girl is dressed in jeans, informs the official! The girl pleads and is eventually given the application form but only on the condition that she swears not to wear jeans if she joins the college.

If this scene (based on a true life incident reported in a local Tamil daily and brought to our attention by one of our readers Gomathi Natarajan) shocks you, read on to know the state of affairs in colleges across the country.

'Moral parenting' and 'academic discipline' are fashionable phrases in college campuses these days. Managements swear by it and universities brandish massive power in its name. Insisting that students must dress 'decently' and modestly, many colleges have banned jeans, skirts, sleeveless suits, tight-fits, transparent outfits and, in some cases, even coloured or checked t-shirts!

"It's so frustrating, a total ban on something as comfortable as jeans is just not done and same goes for cell phones. Most of the colleges are located in the suburbs of metros; we need to keep in touch with our friends and families. And is it too much to ask? The management could have cracked down only on the wrongdoers. This whole moral parenting concept is actually annoying," says Ruchi Sharma, a physiotherapy student from Noida.

 

Freedom of expression?

From being denied the right to use cell phones on the campus, to being directed on what to wear, from being ruled on whom to talk and what to talk about and even where to sit, students are increasingly finding the learning atmosphere too stifling.

"You won't believe we have to pay fines for small things that can be categorized as personal preferences. Girls are given the ticket if they get their nose pierced or get a second piercing on the ear. Guys pay for trendy haircuts (how a teacher defines trendy is his or her personal viewpoint), coloured hair and even for chewing gums," whines Saurabh (identity changed on request), an engineering student from Mangalore.

"As a fresher I felt that college is the end of my social life. Then gradually the college restrictions encouraged me and my friends to find other places to chill and relax. And did we have a choice? I agree that these places might not be good for us. But now even the pubs declare after college hours as 'happy hours'. We go and hang out in pubs and discs." says Bhavana, who is pursuing her Bachelor's in computer applications, (identity not revealed on request).

 

Teacher's take

While students are protesting the unwelcome hurdles on the path to adulthood, what do teachers have to say? The answers are not surprising. Professors counter all such allegations by saying that indecent attire invites unpleasant public reactions and provokes sexual harassment of students. However, when asked about other restrictions imposed on students in the name of academic discipline, they don't have much to say.

According to Dr. Giti Upadhyay, a lecturer based in Pune, "I think the management that makes these rules must be careful while policing such matters as they are sensitive issues and may violate freedom of expression. Many times, we as teachers, fail to acknowledge that the students are mature people with strong beliefs. I guess a fine balance is what we need."

"This debate is just an example of the fast changing cultural shifts; whether we accept the changes or not depends on individual perceptions. The mantra as per me for both the policy makers and the students is - don't be strict and don't complain just be watchful," she adds.

 

Dress code: A need or a restriction?

On the surface, the whole issue appears farcical and conflicting. At a time when Indian designers are making a mark in international fashion markets, academicians are discussing dress codes for college students!

But if we scratch the surface, the results get even better, to say the least.

 

"Clothing, especially women clothing, its style, length, cut and even colour have always been the favorite topic of discussions and debates. It's questioned sometimes by the politicians, sometimes by religious leaders, sometimes by self-elected moral police and now by academic disciples." says Vinita Jagdev, a lecturer of economics at the Delhi University.

Vinita further exemplifies, "The French government insists that Muslim women should not wear headscarves to educational institutes. On the other hand, the Iranian government has ruled out that women should not only wear headscarves but also wear a chador (a robe, usually black, that covers the body from head to toe). A few months back, few maulanas issued a fatwa against Sania Mirza for wearing short skirts on the tennis court and now universities across India are in the race of imposing more than necessary rules on students to ensure the so-called appropriate form of attire."

"To make matters worse, the penchant for dress code seems to have spread throughout the nation like jungle fire. As far as students are concerned, they find themselves helpless; there's nobody who can take up their side of the story with college and university bodies. They live under the constant fear of getting expelled," she adds.

 

Unsolicited, but necessary!

But not every teacher thinks like Vinita Jagdev. Prof. V.L Aggarwal, a lecturer of accountancy at the Delhi University, strongly argues, "It's our duty to teach the students the difference between right and wrong, good and bad. Remember, we are responsible not only for shaping their future but also their minds, thought-processes. Moreover, no matter how modern we claim the society's outlook is becoming, it's still dangerous for girls to wear low-waist jeans with short tops."

"Apart from the question of stylish dresses being socially acceptable or not, it is a known fact that too much of concentration on fashion and looks can affect studies. Not that it always happens this way, but children sometimes fail to draw the line." Prof. Aggarwal asserts.

Prof. Aggarwal also states that the need to maintain an 'even status' amongst students is what makes it imperative to have such rules. "Kids who belong to rich families wear designer clothes and their friends who belong to lower-middle class wear ordinary clothes. This might result in inferiority complex and frustration in the not-so-well-off kid," he says.

 

Are the students against a code? Not really!

So, even though colleges across the country are frowning at the supposed 'lack of conduct' and 'unacceptable attire', dress codes and other bans within the campus are now rules the students admit they have to live with. And seems like even the students are not against discipline; however, they want the implication process to be more humanitarian, rational and in their interest.

Supports Niyati Mehra, who is pursuing Bachelors in Business Administration in Gaziabad, "There should be dress sense, instead of a dress code. Certain kinds of dressing do convey sexual invitation. What we see on TV doesn't work in real life. It is important to dress austerely."

Agrees Manya Verma, student of a college famous for its outlaws, "Even we understand that spaghetti and noodle straps are not meant for college wear. You wouldn't go to a disco in a sari would you? But that doesn't mean we are deprived of basic things and hundred types of unreasonable bans and fines are imposed on us."

Students today are looking forward to a significant mindset change, a change that will ensure that their voices are heard. Respecting the concerns and thoughts of their educators, they just wish their colleges to be more progressive.

 

Will they be able to change the writing on the wall?

Do you think it would be correct to impose a restriction upon what one wears on the pretext of moral parenting and discipline?

 

Live-in Relationships - A Analogy

Live-in Relationships

Are they immoral, do they erode Indian culture or has the whole issue just been blown out of proportion? We received an overwhelming response, with readers debating the topic from every angle -- cultural, emotional and socio-religious. Here are some of the more interesting (unedited) responses that came in.

When it comes to spending whole life with somebody, what matters more is that the emotional requirements may get fulfilled. In thousands of cases they are not met in a marriage. At the same time, live in sort of relations also do not guarantee a full life relationship, it stands true.

But, being involved in a live in relationship or being part of a marriage is a matter of individual decision, which, one should be free enough to take.

Uproar on this issue, just for the sake of preserving cultural identity is questionable. How can anybody claim that there is no place for bonding or attachment is such relations? It is far, far better than a marriage that exists without love. Because, in a live in relationship what keeps two p'pl together is mutual trust and love, and not just enjoyment.

-- Rashmi Singh

 

Life is a bit complicated thing. Sometimes a few moments are required to understand someone and sometimes one cannot understand other during entire lifetime.

Marriages are made in heaven and broken on earth.If marriages can be broken so can live-in's be. What essential thing that is grossly missing today in our relationships is love, trust and commitment.

Our society has a heritage of its own. It need not be influenced by western culture. Marriage has been and is a successful phenomeonon. Live-in relationships are like BAND-AID thing. This is to say they are temporary and not good in long run.What is correct is marriages based on love , trust and commitment which last a lifetime.

-- Sukhmeet Singh

 

In society there are some peoples known as antisocial elements. their only job is to break rules/discipline formed by society/ religion/ parents and to prove this right they give some illicit and non genuine logics to prove themselves right, this is same for the peoples advocating in favor of live in relationship.

-- Lovelyone

 

I disagree with all those ppl who think that Live-in relationships promote pre-marital sex. Ppl indulge in it anyway.

Live-in is not just about sex, it also about knowing the other person, cutting costs in expensive urban cities.  Plus it's a personal choice.

-- Rakshita Verma

 

In the last 60 years of independence,India has developed equal to 150 years of progress, which West had made,Our all laws are on the basis of British Laws,whatever changes are made in Indian judiciary, social system etc.,etc., are based on Western system.For example,legally what is the role of parents or any other relations in sons/daughters marriage.As such, nobody can stop India to be westernised, it is a matter of few years, say another 50 or so at least for educated class.

Live in relationship is at low profile today, but it will become common.

-- Arungopal Agarwal

 

First of all its not our culture, secondly this is for those who just dont want to take responsibilities. They really look for these kind of relationships to satisfy there urges. Lekin these kind relation are not strong and r not really bonded to each other. After few years u feel bore of these relationships. Iam totally against of these live in relationships. Iam happily maaried to my husband we had a courship period of around 7-8 years par than also i dont feel like living together before marriage. I dont feel these relations r required in our lives.

-- Amit Bhatia

 

Rubbish reasoning. To satisfy urges you do not need a relation ship. You can do that anyways. What you did was your choice, great for you if you have found true happiness. But do not be judgemental about others' choices. Culture thing is crap. There is lot in our so called culture whih is disgusting.

-- Sampath Mohapatra

 

I am really not agree with this relation. This is really a bull****. I think a couple of meeting is enough to know anybody it doesn't make any sense to live with him and be physical with him/her.

In each and every relation we have to adjust and sacrifice whether the relation of Dad-Son, Mom-Daughter, Sister-Sister, Brother-brother, brother-sister. If we want to live happily we have to understand and love and respect each others feeling thats it.

Husband-wife relation is so sophisticated relation as well as loving relation. If we say mother, father, brother sister relation is made by GOD then this relation is also made in heaven and we have to accept it and adjust with it. We should not over-ruled the principal made by god.

-- Laxmi Bhatt

 

Quite frankly I do not understand the hypocrisy in our society. Dowry is ok, oh sorry can't use the word dowry, illegal. Anything given to the daughter all expensive items is tradition & custom. Spending a bomb on weddings is fine since it happens once in a LIFETME. If husband ill-treats, you should adjust. If hubby has sex outside marriage its fine b'cos his wife cannot satisfy him.

The concept of live has come in when women has started asserting their rights. Its not that it was not happening in earlier societies, only difference it was being done by the MALE species. Live in is nothing but a choice exerted by two consentual adults. It you equate it to free sex then it is your misdoing, since sex is available anyways all over India. As far as love is concerned it is there in a live in as well. Except a legal agreement, it is the same as marriage.

-- Sampath Mohapatra

 

First it's not our culture. It happens only in western countries, where "VISHWAS NAAM KI KOI CHEEZE HI NAHIN HOTI". I wud like to ask this SO-CALLED couples that after marriage will they allow their spouses to have male/female friends ?

-- Sumati Gayki

 

Don't blame western countries. There are so many women in America who feel they will have sex only with their husband(mostly catholic women). Stop saying its only in our culture. Be innovative.

-- Suresh Kumar

 

This is against the principles and practices of what actually we are supposed to follow, as every relationship has its divine meaning. We are not mere animals but rational animal. We have a society and everyone is a part of it and has a role to play. Just say, father, mother, brother, sister - repeating will echo the worth of relationship. Everyone has a right to choose his/her mate, but it should be for the fullfilment of our individuality, personality which should be read with our parents name and identified with our integrity. None of us is supposed to waste our vitality and potential for mere transient pleasures to fulfill our biological need, instead it should be transformed into a meaningfull method of activity of life. If society is a 'pillar' families are the 'bricks' which it is made of and we are materials to concrete it. Espousing a live in arrangement as liberty it means you compromise your social responsibility with your own interest. Let wisdoem prevail and let us not encourage such folly instincts.

-- Gopalkrishnan

 

In what way do think the people living in are not socially responsible than the people married and living in?

Who says what we are supposed to follow?

Live in does not mean, they are not going to marry? What is exactly wrong with it?

your entire paragraph misses the point of why you don;t support other than saying we are not supposed to follow.

What makes you think that people living in together do that only for physical pleasure? Who said that to you?

If marrying and living together is allowed, then can we marry more than 1 person and live in?

Why Hindu gods have more than one wife? I'm Indian and Hindu. So don't blame other people.

Based on your witting, it appears that you are well educated and well thought. With all due respect in that direction, I challenge you to prove your point and i can prove you wrong in every aspect and every reason you give.

-- Suresh Kumar

 

'Living in' relationships are to a certian extent of the stupid practices adopted in our institution of marriage. We have progressed from type writers to laptops, coins to smart cards... but Our attitude towards marriage never changed.

Women has graduated as CEO's of MNC's from a home maker. Men do drive a BMW and wear an Armani, but the wife in their dream still is a saree clad women with bindi in the fore head, may be a burkha, children cinging to her hands etc. He is yet to have this digested that the car that speeds at 140kmph can have a women in the driving seat.

Living-in relation is mostly a decision made by the new generation women. Men were always ready for a "liability free" sex life. But for women, it is a bold step she is taking or a kind of challenge she is making on the male section who still fancy to live on the money of her father, fancy to get a slave at home and bed, fancy to keep a Sati-savitri at home.

Women today understand her more. She know her wants and desires. Men will no longer be able to hide their inability or weakness under the "sanctity" cover of marriage.

Living-in, is a challenge and the bold one do survive. You might see them desperate and broken after few years. But their life is much better than the prisoners of marriage.

-- Genius Narayanan

 

Why livein relationship? When a person is a social creature. What is the purpsoe of live-in relationship? This types of evil is inreasing day by day in big cities like Mumbai and Delhi, which is not good for the society as well as for the country like India. This is increasing in the reaches.

-- Ashok Jhunjhunwala

 

Science is not about reinventing the wheel every time. It does not say that proof by first principle is the only way to accept a proof. You psuedo scientific guys do in any efforts to understand the system and reasoning and jump to conclusions based on half baked knowledge about science.

-- Anonymous

 

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